We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
