hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
