i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
