No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
