Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
