i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
