I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
