my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize