2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
