whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
