oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
