how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Still dying that you shit outside
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize