It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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