I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
