i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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