watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
