someone get that fucking seahorse.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
