is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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