I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
