I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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