Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
