She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
