I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
