My nipple is on Facebook.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize