she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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