Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
