can u get pink eye on your cock?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
