i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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