I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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