kristin has been a bad kristin
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
