Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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