i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize