For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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