Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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