My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
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