Well apparently he's into motor boating.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
