I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
