he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
