I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
