Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
