oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
