..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
