love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
