I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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