Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Buhtt sex?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Found your dick twin last night
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
