why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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