...so i touched it.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
