I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
