textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
