I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
