I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
