Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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