Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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