Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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