He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
