I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
