At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
