i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
We're too hungover to prance.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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