This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
