Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
