I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
