I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
