Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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