he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Small penises have feelings too.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Randomize
