I hope my margaritas pass through security.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
