if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
