hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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