there's paper in my vomit.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
