she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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