Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I think weed is turning my hair brown
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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