Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm lost and stupid without you.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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